Happy Mother’s Day To All The Rave Moms

Happy Mother’s day to all the rave moms out there. You are the real VIP at any show. Thank you for keeping all your rave babies safe and happy. Cheers to you for always filling up your VIP’s CamelBak and reminding them to drink water, but not so much that they will have to leave from camping on the rail for their favorite set. Cheers to you for never complaining about having to accompany said favorite VIP to the bathroom when they no doubt drink too much water and you’re forced to guide their wobbly bootie off the dance floor.

Thank you for always making enough kandi to do an exchange with everyone on the dance floor. And thank you for giving up your prized perler to the newbie on the dance floor. They will love and cherish that perler forever and keep it as a symbol of popping their rave cherry. Thank you for having patience with newbies and bros as they learn what rave culture entails. Thank you for keeping your girlfriends safe from the creepy dude on the dance floor that keeps trying to hit on them all.

You’re that unthanked, or perhaps way over-the-topply thanked hero at the end of the night. And you deserve a damn trophy for all that you smiled through during the night. That time your best friend puked on your favorite shoes? You forgave that. The friend that got downright messy on the dance floor? You helped them get their romper off in the port-a-potty and somehow managed to keep it from touching that disgusting floor. The stranger having a bad experience crying on the floor? You arranged for the whole damn flow-cean to come over and give them a light show and snap them out of that dark place and then you went out and found their best friend that they lost. Sure they gave you shitty descriptions of their friend but somehow you managed to find the “tall guy” with a red shirt on that actually was 5’7” and wearing an orange shirt. I know, I know you’re all humble and want to pretend that rave moms are no heroes. I disagree, go get yourself that Super Rad Cape, you deserve it.